Are you searching outside for what’s lost inside?
A popular story I heard as a kid was about a fool in ancient times who lost a precious stone inside his house. It was already dark and he did not have sufficient light to continue searching inside. He happened to look out and saw that the street lamps were lit. So he went outside and started searching for his lost stone under a street light.
A stranger came by, heard his lament and offered to help him. They hunted together but found nothing. “Where did you lose your stone?” asked the stranger, after a fruitless hunt for the lost stone. “Inside the house,” came the response. “Then why are you looking outside for it?” asked the annoyed stranger. “Oh because there is light here.” The stranger shook his head and walked away.
All of us listening to this story found it funny. The moral of this story—Don’t hunt outside for what you have lost inside—did not impact me until I was an adult with more life experience. I was more amused by the man who was foolish enough to look outside and take help from strangers for something he lost inside his house.
Perhaps you have been looking in the wrong places. – J.K. Rowling
Searching outside for what is lost inside happens to most people. Your inner compass has been smothered under layers of useless information or tremendous amounts of noise that have nothing to do with who you are or your interests. Confused, you lose your sense of direction for a time and follow false leads which take you nowhere. Endless false leads continue to appear every day, confusing you further.
How do you know you are searching in the wrong place anyway? When you believe that your self-actualization can happen by investing most of your time and energy in a tiny space of your life and expecting it to give you complete fulfillment. You might copy what others are doing and get what they get. When you reach where you thought you wanted to be or get what you think you want, you don’t find the expected fulfillment. Eventually, it binds you down and narrows your perception to such an extent that you can’t see beyond it, all the while feeling that something vital piece of the puzzle is missing. This is how you know you are searching in the wrong place.
Is there no other way to know? Like everything else in life, the best way to learn is by doing. Experiencing false leads will help you more than listening to others pontificate about how they think life should be lived or how you should live yours. As you run into more false leads, you learn to pause. You stop looking outside and start looking inside. You start questioning yourself.
Sit, be still, and listen. – Rumi
Is it worth investing more of your life chasing yet another false lead or looking for external validation when your inner voice says otherwise? You learn to question the why of doing something rather than just the how of doing it. You become more alert about who and what you are investing your time and mind in.
Life’s patterns repeat when you continue to follow similar paths. It changes when you decide to change the path you take. It transforms when you decide that your life is something you control and become more aware of handing over control of any part of it to other humans or entities. When you decide to stick to what feels comfortable or familiar even though it is not fulfilling, you barter the very essence of who you are to a false way of living. You will move from one street lamp to another, searching for what you’ve lost elsewhere.
The only way to find what is most precious is to you is to move away from the din and pontification into a calm space. Start walking on the new path with joy, knowing that life will lead you well.
Two roads diverged in a wood and I – I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. – Robert Frost
Taking a new path diminishes the noise, clarifies your mind and leads you to the right place—the place where you will find all that is precious within you rather than continuing to search in the wrong places. And this discovery can only happen when you take courage and move away from the familiar but dull path you’ve always taken.
