Lowering the bar can lead to good things.
Great things start from zero – we count numbers starting from zero. The value of a number is determined by the number of zeroes after it. An entire field of mathematics – calculus – depends on the zero and is used across a spectrum of fields from engineering to finance. Zero is intriguing. When it is added or subtracted from a number, the number remains unchanged but when you multiply a number by zero, it becomes zero. It is a fascinating, mysterious number but most do not give it a quantitative value or understand how to. Many equate zero with utter failure, zilch, nil, over…
Using the zero as our north star can guide us towards a joyful life. For instance, getting closer to zero in managing life expectations is crucial. Lowering our expectations can be rewarding and satisfying. Why would you take the behavior of someone you meet as an acquaintance or as part of a contractual arrangement personally? Because you have unrealistic expectations of that person. When was the last time something did not turn out the way you wanted it to? f you spent your time beating the floor with your fists and having hysterical fits, you probably need to learn how to manage your expectations.
“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” – Bruce Lee
Having low expectations of others means we are largely unaffected by their negative behavior because we do not expect much from them. We hardly spend time overthinking or analyzing anyone’s behavior. We do not give time to those who have no time for us. Not because we dislike them but because it makes eminent sense to not waste our time on those who can give us nothing. This helps us use our time and energy to focus on what matters most to us.
The key is to make a truthful assessment of how you manage life expectations. Do you need to learn more or develop skills to get to where you want to be? What gives more meaning to your life? Are you good at picking yourself up and trying again and again? Are you comfortable making mistakes and taking risks? Answering these tough questions should make one thing clear. Raise the bar high for yourself and lower it as much as possible for others. This will also help you define what success means to you and live life with more purpose.
“I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations.” – Bill Watterson
Misplaced expectations in friendships and relationships can lead to much pain. Are you living up to the expectations of your friends and loved ones? Are you there for them consistently or do you take them for granted? Many times, though, people do not live up to our expectations even if we try hard. That’s just how life is. Having realistic expectations helps you accept them for who they truly are and not expect them to change. Getting to zero can help prevent bitterness, anger, and confusion. You will always love them for what and who they are. This awareness will also help you become more joyful.
Life is fickle and rarely happens the way we think it will, despite our plans. Sometimes, life decides to give you a big pile of manure. What are you going to do with it? Wallow in it and get smelly or use it to grow good things that will benefit you? Managing your expectations help you handle life’s strange twists and turns with a shrug and walk on without being felled by your own unrealistic expectations. It also means that you will handle life with exuberance and equanimity when things turn out far better than you expected. Getting to zero is the beginning of all good things, not the end.
“Expectations were like fine pottery. The harder you held them, the more likely they were to crack.” – Brandon Sanderson
