Are you living your dream or only trying to show others that you are living the dream?

For the longest time, ‘living the dream’ was considered ‘living the American dream’ or in general, the pursuit of better economic opportunities. We knew the things needed to ‘live the dream’. They were all material – a large house with a pool and other frills, a family, a great car or two, annual vacations… This was considered the picture-perfect life. The bigger, the better. It was a comforting, formulaic dream.

We have all heard the myth of living the dream. It advocates a single, much-trodden path. It claims to have sorted life out for us. It promises to make life easy and problem-free. We are assured there is no need to spend time understanding life or how we want to live it. We get to live the dream if we follow the path. It is tempting to give in to this stereotypical thinking except that the oft-quoted formula does not work.

Over the decades, though, it became abundantly clear that the relentless pursuit and attainment of wealth alone does not guarantee happiness. This led to the relentless pursuit of happiness with the attained wealth. The result was not more happiness but unprecedented levels of stress and health issues. If money does not help us live the dream or attain happiness, what does?

In spite of this, many continue to cling to this fallacy. What harnesses people to an unhappy environment? Plain old fear. No one knows what fear looks like nor does it have a physical presence. Yet, it is the one reason that makes people stop exactly where they are for life. The fear of moving into new territory is overwhelming even if they are promised greater fulfillment.

If you would like to overcome your fears and live a purposeful life, the most important question you need to ask yourself is: Am I living my dream or only focused on showing others that I am living the dream?

Do you have something you would like to do that you are not doing now? Are you in pursuit of fulfillment rather than merely chasing money? Are you merely keeping up with the Joneses? Do you feel out of sync with ‘living the dream’ even though everyone else seems to follow the formula without protest? If so, ask yourself these questions every day and start taking baby steps in the direction you desire. The bolder you become, the easier it will be. Take comfort in the fact that you are not alone. Countless others feel this way too.

For some – and this group is still a minority – the desire is already strong. You may belong to this group if you are constantly exploring your environment, searching for that chink of light to guide you in your chosen direction. You are off in a wink when you see it. You have been waiting for this ‘aha’ moment. You have been prepared. It is the point of no return in the most positive way imaginable.

Others – an even smaller number – already know what they want. You are in this group if you pursue the life you want, ignoring the formula that is thrust upon you relentlessly. Either group finds explanations to the ‘other side’ superfluous. How would those devoted to fear and the formula understand those who live without the need for either?

Living your dream is not sitting on a fabulous beach, being waited upon. If you think it will bring you fulfillment, it merely reflects your disillusionment with the formulaic life you are living now. What is it then? Above all, there is no single formula that everyone can apply to their lives. You create your own formula for the life you want to live.

You will work hard, possibly harder than you ever did before. It never seems like work because you love what you are doing. You do deep work. Boredom never happens. On the contrary, time becomes precious. You use it carefully. You realize that worrying about the future means losing the present.

For the first time, you are not doing something for the money alone. It is only one of the benefits derived from doing what you want to do. And you find that you have enough of it. More than enough. All your needs are met. You meet people who seem destined to help you. You are delighted – and grateful. What might have seemed like a miracle before seems like the norm now.

You feel like you are finally tuned to the right wavelength unlike earlier when others were trying to tune you to their wavelengths without your consent. The result was a confused, incoherent hiss that seemed to typify your life. Now, you listen carefully for any incoherence within yourself and resolve it.

If there is a problem, you work hard at finding a solution without complaint. If you lose everything, you know you will work to regain it. What you do know is that you can never return to the life – or what you thought was life – that was. You develop a healthier lifestyle with little effort. You feel good about yourself and happy for others.

There is no difference between the You in front of others and the You when you are alone. You are your authentic self. A lot of what you did in your desperate attempts to fit in with the crowd – following what they followed, entertaining yourself they way they did, talking what they liked to talk about – disappear. It does not matter anymore.

You get strange, disbelieving looks from people devoted to the formula. They come by to observe you because you are an anomaly. How can life be anything but a toil? You smile and move on without feeling the need to defend yourself or convince them. Perhaps they will get lucky enough to find out for themselves.

Living your dream makes life more profound than it has ever been before. You have boundless energy and make trade-offs without regret because they are made to retain what is most valuable to you. You live the life you were meant to live instead of living the life others expect you to. This is a deep, soul-satisfying way to live. Are you ready to start living your dream?