Living large is within your reach.

Traditionally, living large meant a luxurious lifestyle. In our times, that definition is changing. Consuming more does not make us feel better. Retail therapy is not therapeutic. Once basic needs are met, we know that the human mind seeks fulfillment. When it eludes us, we take refuge in a distant goal, believing that fulfillment awaits us at the end of the journey.

This manifests in the lives of many who plod towards the mirage of promised fulfillment. This preoccupation with a distant mirage means they pay little attention to the joys of the unfolding journey. It seems more like suffering because we try to control what we cannot. We assume that this is how life is supposed to be; that we need to suffer to get to the pot of non-existent gold at the end of the non-existent rainbow. Living large never happens.

Suffering is optional. – Haruki Murakami

Life can be an absorbing story depending on how we choose to react to it by focusing on what we can control – ourselves. Even our best efforts to script the perfect life will not be accurate. There will always be an element of the unknown in every life. Depending on how you look at it, life’s unpredictability can seem frightening or an adventurous game to challenge and sharpen yourself as much as you choose to.

Getting to a place of living large is attainable with practice – through conscious focus on things within your control and less on what you cannot control. This practice gives you more confidence to continue onward and explore more life options than you otherwise might have. It also gives you peace of mind.

The Living Large Secret #1: Focus more on what you can control.

Focus more on understanding yourself instead of worrying about others. Want to feel good? Be more respectful and kind to yourself. Accept that no one can fill any emotional void within you. Only you can complete yourself. Seek out more positive people and remove toxicity from your life. This includes your toxic thoughts as well. Move more (and more!) for better health. Say ‘no’ more often and free yourself to do things that add value to your life. Practice a skill or learn something new. Laugh more at yourself.

Read more books by unknown authors on subjects unrelated to your field. Focus more on a few quality friends and relationships rather than on superficial interactions. Learn to observe your thoughts and emotions more. Feel them, accept them, and realize how fickle they are. Use more of your mental energy on becoming a little better every day. Take tiny steps, one day at a time.  

The Living Large Secret #2: Focus less on what you cannot control.

Focus less on thinking about why others are the way they are. It takes all kinds to make our world interesting. Embark on your own exciting journey of self-discovery instead. You are unique. Get to know yourself! Fret less about problems. Try thinking of a problem as a new act in your life script and rearrange the props in a way that serves you best. Complain less and focus on solutions. Vegetate less and explore new paths – you might never get that chance again. Life is movement. Death is stagnation.

“Well, less is more, Lucrezia” –    Andrea del Sarto by Robert Browning

Waste less time on screens and use more of it to live life in the real world. Waste less of your life discussing or judging others and use more of it to volunteer and help other people. Avoid doomsday media stories and stress less about world situations you cannot control. Instead, donate to a cause that helps those who are not as fortunate as you are. Spend less time on negativity – train yourself to greet it (politely) like an unavoidable guest, listen to it, show it the door, and get to a happier place.

Live your choices with grace and participate fully in your life. Whether you build a hut or a palace, life will flow well as long as you remain truthful to yourself and feel fulfilled living your choices. Life and fulfillment happen in the Now, not in the distant future. Use your moments well.

Laugh when life throws you curveballs. Then knock it out of the park and fly high. The only way to live large is to stare life in the eye, accept it for what it is, shrug, and keep refining yourself by moving away from things outside your control.   

While we wait for life, Life passes. – Seneca