Hello Y’all, We have an uplifting guest post by Palak Mehra this week. Thank you, Palak, and welcome!

How my kids took over my life and changed me.

These are unprecedented and trying times for parents. We are witnessing a pandemic, a notion we would have found ridiculous even a month back. Most of us are spending more time with our kids than we ever thought we would.  As I look at my sons adjusting to the new reality and home-schooling lessons, I find myself reflecting on the many lessons I continue to learn from them.

Before I had kids, I hardly noticed them or attempted to understand them.  At any rate, I never seemed to come across many during my twenties and early thirties. I lived in an apartment complex in the Washington, D.C. area, interacting with other young professionals. My fellow commuters had diplomatic and political leanings, with conversations revolving around the current political and art scene. Bush and the Iraq War, elections in Senegal, and the latest art movie were common topics of discussion. Weekends were spent devouring The New York Times, brunches with friends, bike rides, and nights out in Georgetown bars.

We had our first boy after fulfilling the so-called American dream: stable jobs, decent commutes, and a house (alas, no picket fence). I was in my mid-thirties and thought that a baby would be another minor milestone. Boy, was I wrong! The tiny bundle took over our lives. His things – diapers, clothes, crib, and toys – filled the house. My second son followed a few years later and our lives became even more chaotic. This was the ultimate Coup. 

The little monsters are now 11 and seven. I’ve learnt so much more since they become part of our lives. 

“Children are not things to be molded, but are people to be unfolded.”
~ Jess Lair

Time management and multitasking. Before I had kids, I would saunter into work at 9.00 am and stay at the office until 8.30 or 9.00 pm. After I became a mother, the nanny who cared for my kids would not stay a minute beyond 6.00 pm. So, I had to make my day as efficient and as productive as possible. Long lunches and happy hours became memories, replaced by desk lunches and quick swigs of coffee. I would be greeted at the metro station by my nanny and an eager infant. My second shift began…

Finding joy in small things. I will always remember my five-month-old’s excitement on his first Amtrak train trip when we went to visit my sister in New York. Multiple people to coo at and the ever-changing scenery kept him entertained. We also took him to Washington Square Park that has a giant fountain. I had passed it many times, but he was seeing it for the first time. His unbridled excitement made me smile. We spent a couple of hours at the fountain  watching people. He has taught me how to live in the moment, to pause and look at the world around me, and to find joy in the simple things.

Making new friends. Being recent immigrants, we did not have many old friendships. We met most of our friends at work or happy hours for young professionals. Having a kid opened up a whole new world. We met amazing people with toddlers at the park and exchanged numbers. I’m happy to write that our friendships have outgrown our kids. We now meet and even vacation together without our kids. Conversations have naturally evolved from diapers and bottles to politics and prosecco and yes, our kids are as close as siblings.

Acknowledging my weaknesses. My younger son had some challenges as a toddler and required physical therapy to work on his core strength. He took great pride in his therapy and shared it with all his little cheerleader friends who helped him overcome his fears. No judgment. Just pride with the drive to keep improving. I have a few irrational fears and my brave son has inspired me to conquer them. I’m still a work in progress! 

Curiosity. My first born is also called ‘curious George’ for all the questions he asked as a toddler. He continues to be obsessed with random facts and has a keen interest in geopolitics. This includes  an almost irrational obsession with the Middle East and North Korea. He was a finalist at his school Geo Bee. I learnt so much by helping him prepare for it, like understanding more about different cultures and countries. Learning is a continuous process and it is important to always be curious. 

Compassion and kindness. My older son is calm, rational, composed, and logical. My younger one is an emotional and expressive child, aware of his strengths and weaknesses. He reaches out and takes younger, quieter kids under his wing. His school has been very instrumental in shaping his focus on compassion and inclusiveness. Kids are rewarded for their acts of kindness rather than academic prowess. As children struggle with navigating social structures, I am beyond appreciative of his school’s focus on kindness and empathy. 

Being open to different experiences. I used to dread traveling with my kids. The thought of lugging all their paraphernalia on a 10-hour flight was daunting. With great trepidation, we planned a family trip to Paris. We planned to spend time at the Louvre followed by dinner at an upscale restaurant. I was pleasantly surprised by how much fun they had at the museum. The guide, a wonderful young lady, was patient and kind, answering all their questions. At the restaurant, to my dismay, my toddler started running around, laughing until he tripped near the bathroom. Immediately, a lovely young lady scooped him up and comforted him in French. It was an immensely sweet gesture from a stranger. Children are so simple and have such an open mind. My son with his carefree attitude also taught me the importance of being open to different experiences. 

It has been a fun journey so far. I am sure there will be many more life lessons along  the way. I wonder what new challenges middle school and puberty will bring? Like all parents, I can only hope for the best and keep my fingers and toes crossed. For now, I shall just live in the moment and enjoy the ride! 

While homeschooling my kids, I consider myself schooled as well!