Upgrade your life to ‘happening’ mode.

“Why is my life not happening?” It is easy to ask this question and wonder why everyone else seems to have amazing and happening lives. We may lack nothing but ‘lack’ is relative and has little to do with our physical environment or possessions. Many seem to suffer a major lack of interest in life – nothing about the process of life interests them. They worry constantly about life passing them by but do nothing about it.

What might help us live an interesting life? The answer lies in acknowledging that you – and not someone else – are responsible for upgrading your life from ‘not happening’ to ‘happening’ mode. You will need to change how you live if you plan to enjoy all the possibilities offered by life. Change can seem daunting, which is why we prefer to stay in a rut – a long, deep passage made by walking on the same, narrow path repeatedly. This is the perfect recipe for a ‘non-happening’ life and ennui.

“I fear the boredom that comes with not learning and not taking chances.” – Robert Fulghum

If you don’t have time to focus on what you need to change, you may be devoting too much time contributing to making others’ lives happen instead of becoming an active player in your life. When you try to please others or want to be liked at any cost, others control your narrative. Or maybe you are living your life online, feeling validated by the ‘likes’ of strangers. Eventually, you end up being a pale, tired version of yourself because you keep doing things others want, not what you want. This is life lived on borrowed visions instead of your own. You could have better spent your time creating the life and experiences you need.

“There are really only two ways that time can be truly “wasted”: when you engage in something that crowds out more productive or edifying activities, and when you deliberately engage in something that, on balance, you don’t actually even like.” – Arthur Brooks

Creating an interesting life does not mean rejecting or disliking the way others live. Rather, it is being pro-You. It is playing the game to score your best learning and experiences in the limited time you have. You can join others in their game and enjoy shared experiences but never at the cost of ignoring your own. Every life is on a different trajectory and yours will never be quite like any other. You need to follow the path of your own life. Sometimes, you need to trust it and go bravely where it takes you. After all, you can only plan so much. The way may seem strange and unplanned but if you always go by a plan, life is not going to reveal much. When you take a new path, life happens as it will – great in some ways, messy in some ways, always surprising, but full of glorious moments with few regrets. Otherwise, you end up with nothing at all.

The best way to inject some life into your life is to create something that will enhance you. It could be an experience or a new skill or placing yourself in the company of those you respect and can learn from. Life becomes far more interesting when you decide to do something because you want to, not because you must or because you expect something in return.

“We have two lives, and the second begins when we realize we only have one.” – Confucius

Once you decide to control your narrative, tradeoffs are never an issue. Why would anyone have complaints about taking back ownership of their life? Perhaps only those who are terrified of change or anything they perceive as new. Are you one of them? If water stands still and has no outlet, it will eventually become a swamp. Life changes, as it always does, and going with its flow will lead you to better shores outside your comfort zone. If you take yourself too seriously and resist change, life simply stops happening.

A happening life does not mean one of non-stop socializing, parties or surrounding yourself with people. It only means that when new, unexpected experiences – called ‘problems’ by many – are thrown your way, you coast along. Rather like an inexperienced, out-of-control skier on a steep slope, making crazy loops and turns as you navigate new territory while slithering along, trying to avoid collisions. When you finally skid to a halt, you feel breathless and exhilarated. You look around and see that you have landed in a new, refreshing space. Life looks interesting now. =That heart-pumping trip to this new place was worth it after all.

“To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.” – Henri Bergson