We don’t want these bullies but are forced to live with them anyway.
What would you do when someone walks on your pristine carpet with dirty shoes? Tell the person off and clean your carpet. Everything must be clean! Why don’t we like living in a dirty house? It is unhealthy, unaesthetic, unhygienic, annoying, distracting, does not allow us to focus on more enjoyable tasks… so many reasons.
Yet, we wallow in an unbelievably dirty environment every day of our lives. How so? When the word ‘toxicity’ is mentioned, almost everyone is quick to associate it with toxic people or relationships or some external source. ‘Someone’ or ‘something’ is preventing them from living their best lives. There are countless internet tips on how to handle external toxicity and far fewer on inner toxicity.
Inner toxicity is an insidious force because it has embedded itself in you, convincing you that it is a part of you. It also prevents you from removing external toxicity in your life. It has a fabulous partnership with another scary thug – fear. Together, they keep you busy looping reems of toxicity in your mind and ensuring you remain where you are, even if you are unhappy. This greatly diminishes the quality of your life. These bullies keep leeching the life energy out of you.
“Fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind.” – Dale Carnegie
Why do we look to control external factors over which we hold no power instead of focusing on what we can control – taking deliberate action to improve the quality of our lives? Blame the awful partnership within. They rejoice in your impulsive actions aimed at immediate gratification and frighten you from making lasting beneficial life changes.
So you hang around listlessly, allowing anyone to stomp through your mind, which gets murkier and murkier until you struggle to emerge from all that muck and lack of clarity. At some point, you give up and begin to think that this existence is your identity instead of questioning your inner toxicity which makes you reach this erroneous conclusion. Those others out there who have made life work for them? They must be extraordinary or special, always blessed by life. They have never struggled! You sink into self-pity – why is your life so awful? In the meantime, life goes on – it does not wait for anyone.
“You only have control over three things in your life – the thoughts you think, the images you visualize, and the actions you take.” – Jack Canfield
How do you get rid yourself of these toxic brutes? Inner management holds the only key to your freedom. Acknowledge the existence of these bullies inside you. Denying them only leads to more despair. Assign a physical form to them if you must and start observing them. Notice how they warn you off against anything new and revel in keeping you chained to the same situation by playing on your primitive fear of change. Everything, except where you are, is awful.
Reason has no place here. It has been buried deep by inner toxicity and fear. It takes an effort to dig it up, but it can be done. The noise increases as soon as you start reasoning with these tormentors. Are you crazy to even think a better life is possible? What better life can there be except the one you are leading right now? You are worthless and this is what you deserve. Who is going to help you in the ‘outside world’? They try every awful tactic to strengthen their hold on you.
“Are you here to experience life or to think about it?” – Sadhguru
As you become a better observer, you pause at this point. Really? Everywhere but here is awful? That’s hard to believe. Once you start questioning it, fear recedes quickly. The toxic whisperer follows. It feels strange, this absence of inner noise. Silence and stillness can seem deafening when loud noises are cut off from your life. This silence is what you need to live with more awareness. Conscious observation and action are not easy, but you get better with practice. Living consciously and questioning your fears can only lead to a better place.
The inner cleanup happens on its own once you start making conscious decisions. Soon, the toxicity in your physical space recedes too. You no longer don’t have the time and inclination to poison yourself when you are moving towards your best life. This also helps you give your best to others and add value to their lives.
The best revenge, they say, is living well. But living well has nothing to do with revenge. Instead of being interested in others’ experience of life, get curious about your own. View every situation or experience as an opportunity – a glimmer that shines a brighter light on who you are and what you want from life. The best way to live is to keep studying yourself and understanding yourself better.
How many even know they have the opportunity to steer their way to a fulfilled existence? Many are unhappy where they are but don’t even know where to look for their best life. So they keep their heads down and conform to what others think their best life should be. At the end of the day, they are still anxious or afraid of failure. So afraid that they prefer to be bored and unhappy rather than stepping out and exploring life. They are in the grip of their inner bullies. They take themselves way too seriously.
“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” -Elbert Hubbard
You’ve been there and you know that there is far more to life. It does not happen by keeping your head down. It only happens when you make a clear decision to explore life. Which is why you are moving steadily on, your path clear, and never feeling bored. When you look at the many anxious fearful faces and consider your life, you are filled with joy and gratitude.
“Don’t let the fear of striking out hold you back.” – Babe Ruth
