Are you familiar with these questions?

‘Why are others not doing more for me?’ or ‘What are others doing for me?’ Many of us ask these questions out loud as teens. We are indignant and expect ‘others’ to make things easy for us. Then we grow out of it as adults. At least, some do. For many, these questions seem to simmer just below the surface. They have high expectations of others. They expect ‘others’ to act just as they want them to.

Since these expectations are unrealistic, they turn into complaining adults. Life seems unfair. They continue to wonder why people are so disappointing. This need not be the case if you can make small changes to the questions you ask yourself.

Instead of asking what others are doing for you, ask, ‘What am I doing for myself?‘ Am I taking the actions I need to take instead of expecting ‘others’ to take the trouble to read my mind and act in ways that will enhance my life? Remember that these ‘others’ have their own lives to live and don’t have plans to enhance your life. Like you, they are thinking about their own lives.

Rather than expecting others to act as you want them to, ask yourself what you can do to make your life happen the way you want. Then act on it instead of planning it to death or waiting for the ‘right moment.’ A simple action step in the direction you want to move is more precious than incessantly talking about it or wistfully asking, ‘Why don’t others do that for me?’

The only person who knows how to enhance your life is you, not anyone else. Go ahead and do it yourself. Shake off your fear and act on your own instead of expecting others to act on your behalf. Otherwise, they will make you act in ways that benefit their life, not yours. Fear makes you stagnate. Action helps you move forward.

Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world. – Ralph Waldo Emerson