Are you writing your narrative or allowing others to control it?
History, it is said, is written by the victors. This is largely true. Sometimes, the victors choose to ignore certain events altogether. They twist history to suit their narrative. A narrative that showcases them as ethical and high-minded. Everything is black and white, with no shades of grey in between. They exert their influence by controlling the narrative to suit their ends.
This is not different from how personal narratives are controlled. No human knows what a perfect life is nor has lived it. Neither do they have the right to control the narratives of other individuals. Still, many assume that right, believing that they know best about how others should live. They genuinely believe that they have something you cannot afford to give up and play on your fears. They create a one-dimensional narrative of you and expect you to fit into their version of who you are.
When you are told continuously what to do and how to do it, what to learn (or not) and what the expected results should be, what success means and how to show others you have ‘made it’, how to live and spend your free time, and what an ‘ideal life’ looks like, you are being taught to live what someone else believes should be your life. What happens when this is repeated and becomes the standard for an ‘ideal life’? Most start thinking that it is the only and best way to live.
What happens when belief trumps reason and everyone follows blindly, without considering if this is the life they would choose to live? They start believing that everyone should fit into a standard, specified life as well. What happens when they urge others to live in the same way? A million unhappy clones are created because no one has control over their life narrative. They lead a weary existence, where every day seems the same, with no room for fresh thoughts or experiences.
How do you control your narrative and live a full life? Above all, know that you are in full control of your life. No one else is. Also know that once this realization sets in, you will need to deal with the cacophony of those who – for some weird reason – believe they have the right to judge and control you. The moral indignation is highest among those who believe they have the right to participate in the writing of your narrative without your permission. How dare you go against their delusions of authority and superiority over you? They’re not bad. They just feel secure being around people who validate their beliefs, however erroneous those beliefs might be. Be aware of their intentions. Then ignore them.
You need to take full control of your narrative and ensure that others know this. As the captain, you need to steer your ship through sun, wind, rain, storms, enjoy pleasant times, and stay clear of dangerous shores. If you run into rocks, you need to think on your feet and sail away as fast as you can. Otherwise, there are many others who can easily twist your reality to suit their ends. When that happens, you feel helpless.
Taking control of your narrative is empowering. Once you do this, unnecessary elements that weigh you down vanish from your orbit. You don’t feel the need to spend time on explanations to those who don’t understand or deserve them. Instead of being unnecessarily apologetic, you focus on exploring what’s ahead. You are now free to follow your true voice instead of allowing someone else to dictate your narrative. Every moment is now yours to do what is best for you because you control it. You decide what’s good for you.
Once you have the luxury of a meaningful pause in your life, you will realize that controlling your narrative is beyond rewarding. Experience will have taught you that deluding yourself about controlling another’s story is just that – a delusion. The real power, you know, is in understanding yourself and steering your way to the place that is most meaningful to you. This revelation will lead you to new learning and adventures.
Write your narrative based on what you know is best for you. As you go your way, you will come across good people who will give you direct, useful guidance based on their experience. Their aim will be to help you and not gain through you. They will treat you as their equal without talking down to you.
Years of conditioning will fall away, and a lively, empowered, clear You will emerge. Others who experience your clarity will appreciate it. And those who don’t will simply melt away because they can’t cross the boundaries you have set. Setting clear boundaries liberates you from having to spend time with people you can learning nothing from.
Listen carefully to your inner voice and follow your gut. Every day will be profound in a way that will surprise and gratify you. The moral indignation and judgment of the deluded will always exist but instead of disturbing you, the cacophony will now amuse you and cheer you on. You only live once. Live it your way.
