Do you make the moves in your game?

We are unique beings shaped by our life impressions and experiences. They also shape our opinions and prejudices. We are alike in some ways but not so much in others. No human is quite the same as the other, unique in their own way. We would like to believe that we are rational and level-headed humans, pirouetting gracefully through life while making the right decision at every turn. Everyone else is biased, never us! Countless studies prove otherwise, though. We struggle through life, hesitating at every turn and agonizing over every decision. We procrastinate. We procrastinate thinking about why we procrastinate. We find reasons to procrastinate more. We then settle for the status quo, even if it is not to our liking.  

This common behavior is called status quo bias, an emotional preference for the familiar, even if it does not serve us. Humans fear change. Yet they crave it. Given a choice, most will choose an uncomfortable but familiar situation over what they perceive as unknown. Status quo bias is why people complain of utter boredom in their current state but remain where they are, passing by opportunities to change. They find reasons to justify their bias and remain in default mode, never attempting to explore or upgrade the quality of their lives. Newness is scary. It is not possible to progress by remaining in the same place. Status quo bias makes people believe they can.

Many of the most fearful, risk-averse people are those who have remained in their status quo for years, if not decades. They have had ample time to build mental fortresses to defend and find reasons to justify their bias, insisting that they are still evolving where they are. They vehemently oppose any whiff of the unknown in their lives. How can there be a better life than this, they ask, even while continuing to complain how unsatisfying life is.

I fear the boredom that comes with not learning and not taking chances. – Robert Lee Fulghum

Science and psychological experts disagree. If the status quo is all they have experienced, how are they qualified to ask that question? Changing it up is the only way to develop as a person and live a more rewarding life. Staying in the same environment is akin to being a pawn in an endless chess game. There is apparent movement, but you are always at the mercy of some player who decides your moves. You are unable to command the moves of your own life because you don’t decide your moves. Your life is limited to a small chess board without ever being able to see beyond it.

Is life not a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves? – Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Nothing is exempt from the emotional havoc wreaked by the status quo bias. Our daily decisions, world views, the food we eat – it influences everything. It is the inner monster that threatens us every time we consider acting on a change that might do us a lot of good. People remain in environments or relationships that make them unhappy because they fear changing the status quo. The default, as bad as it is, seems safer than exploring new options. Instead, they feel victimized. And they are indeed victims – victims of their own bias.

How do we crawl out from the insidious cocoon of the status quo bias? Accepting that all humans, including you, gravitate towards the default is a good place to start. It helps to take a deeper look at your boredom and dissatisfaction by paying more attention to your needs. Recognize that it is in your hands to change your life. Really. Look at everything you can change in your life, however small. Is social media eating up hours of your day and night? Consciously reduce the time you spend on it, a little at a time. Stick to it. Get familiar with the feeling of ‘newness’ – in this case, the extra time you ‘find’ by avoiding social media. It doesn’t feel so bad, does it? Use your newfound time to act and embrace bigger changes to make your life better.

Spend a few minutes of your day considering how quickly life passes by. Did you think a decade would pass by in a flash? No one does but it did anyway. Life seems to happen in an instant. We can always find reasons to hesitate or get distracted. Distraction and hesitation can last a lifetime. Accepting your flaws and embracing them will result in increased self-awareness. It will help comprehend why apathy seems so attractive and find ways to overcome it. Change it up to grow, learn, and evolve. Inject some life into your living, starting today.

In order to live free and happily, you must sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy sacrifice. – Richard David Bach