That constant buzz of bad memories…

It could happen to us at the most inopportune moment. You could be on your dream holiday, enjoying the view and lazily contemplating dinner when the buzz starts. It is not the pleasant hum of insects hovering over flowers. It is the constant buzz of bad memories.

These unwanted memories seem to burrow deep inside your brain, surfacing like a massive wave and crashing into the edges of your skull. They seem to overwhelm the good memories you have. They leech the joy out of your life and prevent you from functioning at your best in the present.

To live by the knowledge of the past means to forsake the possibility of being aware of the present. – Sadhguru

Negative memories are when you experienced extreme emotion and a sense of loss. Such heavy emotional investment is imprinted in your mind far more strongly than a good memory. So you carry it over countless moments in your head to the present one where you are in a completely different stage of life but still ‘feel’ that bad memory in spite of the fact that it does not exist anymore.

The past is in your rear view mirror and receding every moment. Unfortunately, the mind does not process this logic or work like a rear view mirror. If you were frightened of a spider as a child, you scream at every spider you see even after becoming an adult, even if it does not harm you. If you are around people who mock you for your fears, you suppress it but the spider attains gigantic proportions in your mind anyway. The benefit gained from the immense amount of effort and energy channeled into a bad memory is precisely zero.

You’ve got to stop watering dead plants. – Unknown

How can you escape being held hostage by negative memories? Instead of suppressing it, extract it from that dark corner of your mind where it is hiding and examine it. Why does it trouble you so much? Who or what about it makes you feel the way you do? Why does it seem like a thorn in your mind? How can you extract and destroy it? Why do you associate a particular emotion so strongly with it? Why does it make you suffer in the present moment?

Once you are aware of the associations and context of the memory, it gets easier to process it. You realize that you have taken the same route and keep falling into the same memory pothole every time. You start watching out for that pothole in a more conscious way. The wave crashes less violently inside your head. You rejoice and become even more vigilant. The wave subsides and you recognize that it has no hold over you.

Are there other ways to deal with unwanted memories? Invest in your happier memories. What made you feel good? Consciously apply stronger emotions to these memories, perhaps a person or a kind word when you needed it most or some support that you appreciated. This happens as you continue examining your troublesome memory and become more dispassionate about it. This takes you to your happy place. You are soon cruising at a comfortable speed enjoying your life now instead of living in a place that does not exist and never can.

If a person gave away your body to some passerby, you’d be furious. Yet you hand over your mind to anyone who comes along, so they may abuse you, leaving it disturbed and troubled — have you no shame in that? – Epictetus

Let go of memories that hold your prisoner. It is not easy but certainly worth your effort, considering the positive returns. Remember the good memories and people in your life and let the bad memories flow off your back like water. Soon, you will be able to observe your unwanted memories unperturbed, even as they try to hijack your mind. They fade away as you observe them unfeelingly while the happy memories remain because you invest in them.

Your mind and the memories it holds can be your biggest prison or it can be a fantastic tool for freedom and joy. Are you going to make it your slave or allow it to become your master?