The power of ‘They’.
“What will ‘They’ think?” Most people tie themselves up in knots one time or another, trying to unravel the mysteries of what others are thinking about some important decision they are about to make about their life. I wonder if they think it is good or bad. I wonder if they are laughing/gossiping/mocking/whatever behind my back. I wonder if… I wonder… And so it goes on. And on and on and on like a festering sore, giving you no peace.
How do you stop this insidious thinking loop before you hang yourself with it? Go sit in a quiet spot, preferably amidst nature, and ask yourself: Who is this ‘they?’ Why are they so important to you? Were they around to give you a hand up when you needed it? Will they be? Were they around when you were unwell, holding your hand? Do they invest their time in you? Do they love you? If not, why do you even allow strangers and acquaintances into your mental space while you are making an important decision about your life?
Understand that what others think is their business, never yours. They are entitled to their thoughts, just as you are. You can’t stop them thinking or make them think the way you want to. Are you afraid of their gossip or mockery or whatever it is that makes it these people so terrifying? If they want to share their true thoughts, they will and level the playing field, after which you can explain your decision. Otherwise, they don’t deserve even a single thought, let alone the prolonged agony of overthinking.
Life is fun because everyone does not think the way you do. Imagine being in an environment where everyone always agrees because genuine diverse thinking is never welcomed or allowed. It is a nightmare, I assure you. Different ways of thinking help impel you to action. They help you live the life you want. Action is movement. Movement is healthy. Immobility is stagnation. Don’t stay frozen in an uncomfortable comfort zone, worrying about putting people off. You are invariably going to put some people off when you make a decision that serves you best. Once you have made it, move on. Otherwise, move on. Quickly.
And now, for the Great Truth: Most people are busy playing the starring role in their lives. They are thinking about how they can arrange situations in a way that will serve them best. Why should they think about yours? They are completely occupied thinking about their lives, not yours. Would they even consider what you think about important decisions they make in their lives? The ones who gossip or speculate about others’ others’ lives are those with no clarity about their own life path. Why would you even want to spare them a single thought, let alone waste time wondering what they think of you? The sooner you rid yourself of such people, the better.
Always remember that you hold the reins of your life in your hands. The one precious life that you have been gifted with. Take those reins firmly in your hands, control your thought horses well and never hand over control of it to someone else. If you have, make every effort to take back control by making decisions that will allow you to live your best life without worrying about what ‘they’ think. Because ‘they’ don’t matter and never will.
