Unwinding requires more than a free day.
Isn’t it fun to have a free day? We cannot wait to unwind. Our ‘free day’ might unfold like this: Crawl out of bed rather late – if we manage to get up at all – after browsing social media for a couple of hours. And while we are at it, we respond to numerous messages and e-mails. Then there is the binge-watching or vegetating in front of the TV.
To save time, we try to do everything together. Go on social media while watching a movie, talk on the phone, and answer e-mails. We drag ourselves back to bed at night after all that multi-tasking, wondering why we still feel so tired. Where did the day go?
Multitasking is the art of doing twice as much as you should half as well as you could. – Anonymous
People are finding it hard to relax in an overconnected world. Many never turn off their devices. Most feel the need to respond to every message. They lower the bar further by including retail therapy (online this year) or consumption in one form or another as a form of relaxation; they try meditating with an App to destress… nothing seems to work.
“The difference between technology and slavery is that slaves are fully aware that they are not free” – Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Looking at a screen all day or seeking instant gratification is how we try to distract ourselves from our real lives – the one we need to live through, one day at a time; where we need to learn to cope with issues, experiences, problems, family, friends, work… and learn to relax. Many do not allow themselves the space to unwind. They keep running until they crash because they never made time to learn how to relax.
Stress happens when the mind is racing all the time, seeking digital distraction, or searching for temporary ways to satiate itself. Those temporary ways – usually sitting for long hours in front of a screen – force the body to remain still while you continue to feed it indiscriminately, leading to weight gain. Schlepping extra weight around is no fun. It leads to numerous health issues which lower the quality of our lives.
Our waking hours are rapidly absorbed by daily routines and soon, we start seeing our lives through the expectations of others rather than as a series of issues to experience and resolve. Between our screens and how others decide we should live, busyness dominates us. We do not make time to even think about how we would like to spend our free time because the next ‘should’ looms. When life is so forced, relaxing seems like a luxury to be experienced during vacations. When we do manage to take a break, we continue to stare at our phones, suffering from FOMO.
“He enjoys true leisure who has time to improve his soul’s estate.” —Henry David Thoreau
Shutting down thought by staring at a screen does not help us to recharge. If you sit in front of a screen, you need to be completely engaged in a specific task and take regular breaks. When you think back on your day, you need to know what you accomplished during your time in front of a screen. Looking at political memes or zombie browsing does not count.
Relaxation happens when the mind becomes playful. The mind needs to wander without restraint to learn and have fun. Rekindle its curiosity by taking an unfamiliar turn that will expose you to new things. Every new experience becomes fun and an opportunity to learn about a different world than the one you live in. It can be as simple as walking in an unfamiliar neighborhood or cooking something new. Confining yourself to a specific routine and a virtual life is like putting your mind in a straitjacket. It will be starved for fun and unable to refresh itself.
Once you learn how to relax, it is easier to drive through the potholes that are in your path. If you hurt, you check it out, medicate it, and move on. Soon, you stop and get out of your car to breathe in some fresh air. Those moments soon increase in frequency because they become special moments that you cherish. It becomes easier to welcome others into your life and help them have fun too.
“Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast—you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.” —Eddie Cantor
Relaxing your mind also improves clarity and helps you become comfortable with yourself. Only you know what you need to feel good within yourself. Learning to be comfortable with yourself will help you understand if your needs are being met and if they are not, how you can make it happen.
When you allow your mind to play more, you are eager to learn more. You are not afraid of problems because you know solutions will reveal themselves. You wait, instead of fretting. When the mind is inquisitive and having fun, it helps you view and live life as a game instead of being defeated by it. Don’t rush, relax.
“Within you, there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.” —Hermann Hesse
