Wondering how you can change what others think of you?

Have you ever wondered how you can change what others think of you? If so, you’re not alone. Many adults (kids don’t particularly care what you think of them) obsess over this. Instead of moving on with their lives, they spend countless hours wondering how others will perceive them. Will those who disagree with their decision—family, friends, acquaintances, ‘the world’, whoever—think badly of them? How can they make everyone agree with their decision? In other words, they are asking themselves, ‘How can I change everyone to my way of thinking and being?’

The answer is that it is not possible to change how others think of you. Period. Once you have made a decision that works for you (for instance, marrying a loved one against the wishes of your family or moving away from a toxic relationship or environment that takes more than it gives), you need to take charge of your life and move on instead of seeking universal popularity.

You cannot sway people to your way of thinking because this will only encourage them to dig in further and refuse to acknowledge your point of view. If they choose to, they will reach out and try acknowledge, if not understand, your perspective. Otherwise, neither is obliged in any way to the other. If they still talk about you behind your back, there is nothing you can do about it anyway. Why worry about something you can never control? This is part of the complex process of being human and the sooner you accept it, the happier you will be.

What if you are the party feeling aggrieved about someone else’s decision? Never stake your emotional health on someone else’s decisions or how they choose to live their life because you are setting yourself up for a great deal of disappointment. Never give another person the power to control your inner health because it weakens you tremendously. Do you really want to spend your precious time thinking about how you can change another person to your way of being instead of enjoying your life? You do have the option of reaching out, though. If you don’t want to, move on with your life instead of holding any negativity inside you.

The bottom-line: Changing others is an impossible task. Instead, do what is within your control: Change yourself and make decisions that work well for you. Then go ahead and live your life fully.