Is there more to gratitude than counting our blessings every day?
November is many things to many people. It marks fall or autumn in some parts of the world and in the mountains, when the world glows orange, red, brown, and yellow. For others, November is a transition into winter or heavy rains. Still others find it dull and even forbidding.
November is special to me because it has always revealed fabulous new beginnings in every phase of my life. A time for cozy evenings and heavier food with long conversations by the fire or just curling up with a book. Almost everywhere, though, November is a time to slow down, relax, and celebrate. It marks the unofficial beginning of the holiday season with Thanksgiving.
A plethora of articles are written on gratitude at this time every year. We are reminded to be grateful for what we have and look forward with hope, even as we live through a pandemic. What we thought as permanent ways of living and working have undergone radical changes. Technology is playing a key role in helping us communicate with each other. The future, depending on how we see it, can be exciting or uncertain. This year has made many people introspect and want to live more meaningful lives. Everywhere, humans are looking for new beginnings.
“Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” – Charles Dickens
Is gratitude being merely thankful for what we have? Many of us are blessed with more than we need. Yet, there are times when it does not seem to suffice. We complain and find fault with others or ourselves, forgetting how much we already have.
We love our shiny toys but forget their newness in some months. Something seems to be missing. This is because gratitude is not just about satiating our needs. Otherwise, we would keep receiving and keeping it all, infinitely satisfied with receiving more. We would do well to try and remember our abundant material blessings as a first step in understanding what gratitude means.
Are there other facets to gratitude that are not generally touched upon? Is it only about taking what is given to us with thanks? Are there other ways to demonstrate gratitude and use it as a tool to make our lives more complete?
“Things turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turn out.” John Wooden
We always seem to be seeking something more. That elusive something that will satisfy our core, gut, instinct or whatever else we may choose to call it – and fill us with a sense of wellbeing and completeness that seems to elude us. A filling of that gnawing gap that the usual frills of life cannot seem to penetrate, however hard we try. Gratitude is what you feel when you appreciate a sunrise or a walk in the woods. It is what happens when you understand that the small things you take for granted and hardly think about are the ones that matter most.
Gratitude is being thankful for every experience and person we come across in life. It is about accepting what we perceive as good and bad with equanimity because every experience holds a wonderful lesson and new beginnings. Gratitude helps us do what is most essential at every point in life – which is to pause – and learn from everything what life happens to bestow on us at any given moment.
Gratitude is remembering every act of kindness you have received and passing it on. Make it a practice to be kind at least once a week. An encouraging word, a smile, an acknowledgement, a call – you can make a huge difference in someone’s life by spending a few minutes of yours on them. When you pass on a kind act to another, you become kinder to yourself too.
“When eating fruit, remember the one who planted the tree.” – Vietnamese Proverb
Gratitude is spending time to help others rather than spending it all on yourself. Time is our most precious resource and when we spend some of it on others, we experience a sense of wellbeing and worthiness that are otherwise absent. When we reach out to help others learn or live better, we learn more and live better too.
Gratitude helps us accept others as they are. Everyone is going about the business of life, just like you are. No one knows the perfect formula for a good life. Each of us must discover our own. Everyone is entitled to think about us the way they want to, just like we do about others. In the end, though, the only thing that matters is what we think of ourselves and how we choose to live our lives. Gratitude is the discovery that we alone are accountable for how we live our lives, and it is in our hands to find fulfilment.
Gratitude is looking beyond ourselves and counting our blessings. It is helping others count their blessings too. It is multiplying our good experiences and creating enjoyable moments for others. Gratitude is true wealth. And true wealth comes from giving – our time, donating to our favorite charities, teaching others what we know, and helping others better their lives. Gratitude, above all, is giving. What have you given others today?
