Bad habits are hard to break.
Why are bad habits easy to adopt and hard to break? And why are good habits so hard to nurture? Routine good habits like brushing our teeth and general hygiene have become so ingrained that they no longer offer us instant gratification. We no longer feel rewarded for these good habits—we continue them because of tremendous reinforcement in our childhood. We find it harder to nurture good habits as we grow older. Bad habits are different beasts. They are easy to adopt at any age and difficult to break. They offer instant gratification but work against us in the long run. Everyone struggles with bad habits.
Blame it on how we are wired. A hormone called dopamine is released when, for example, you eat unhealthy food that makes you feel good. The brain interprets this as a reward and keeps encouraging you to consume more. Strong external messages or the company you keep also continue to reinforce bad habits. And so we keep rewarding ourselves in all the wrong ways. How can we win this uphill battle?
Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken. – Warren Buffet
Science says there is no fixed time to help you get rid of a bad habit, contrary to what you may have heard or read. What works then? There is no tried and trusted formula but developing more self-awareness about your bad habits seems to work best. You need to accept that you have a bad habit that is impacting the quality of your life and that you alone can help yourself get rid of it. It is your responsibility. Often, we give all kinds of excuses for ignoring our bad habits. Or worse, blame others.
Once those mental blocks are demolished, you take full responsibility for handling your habits. People who succeed in conquering their bad habits take action, however small it may be. Then they take the next small step and the next, eventually moving away from it. Remember that the death of a bad habit begins where it starts —in your head.
What about those lucky ones who go cold turkey? Ending a bad habit abruptly happens to those who are tremendously motivated by the big picture, say, a better quality of life. Going cold turkey is successful only when you remove the trigger that causes the bad habit. These quitters are ready for change, having already worked through all the trade offs mentally. In these cases, though, the trade offs don’t matter to the quitter at all. The quitting is their biggest reward and they move on quickly.
“The best way out is always through.” – Robert Frost
What you can learn from these quitters is to identify your triggers. This means going deep into a bad habit and identifying it cause instead of just treating the symptoms. You can then start by chipping away at its outer walls. Patience and persistence are key. For instance, if you want to lose weight, walk for a few minutes more (even inside the house) before you sit down again. Every day. If you miss a day, you simply continue the next day. Then you keep increasing your movement slowly and steadily.
What happens then? The beauty of chipping away at a bad habit is that it also creates cracks in other bad habits. When you persist, you feel more in control of your life and start thinking about the big picture. Perhaps you should hire a trainer? And maybe eat better? You start chipping away at your unhealthy diet as well. Past associations start losing their grip on you as you work towards what makes you function at your best now.
You naturally start gravitating towards those who encourage you to be your best self. For instance, if you are trying to get a better body, you gravitate towards people and environments who have made that journey. Since it is not an easy journey, you keep close to those who reinforce the good habit you are trying to nurture. They are the ones who can help you get to where you want to be. They have the answers to your questions and encourage you to be your best. They pull you up when you fall down. They become your cheerleaders.
“A change in bad habits leads to a change in life.” – Jenny Craig
What about your old group? You know, the one you spent your past life with? Since they seem ensconced in comfort zones that make you uncomfortable, you move away naturally. They simply disappear from your orbit as you stop paying attention to them.
You are changing, and with change, your environment changes too. You are here because you dared to try change yourself, stepping out of your rut. Quitting helped you thrive and create an improved version of yourself. Celebrate your victory by embracing the New You and keep getting better.
