Building A Fire

The art of building a fire from a spark.

Building a fire takes practice. Those who have had the opportunity to build one understand that technique and patience are key to building a cozy fire. First, put in some pieces of scrunched-up paper or dry leaves, add dry kindling, add in thinner pieces of wood, and slowly feed in heavier logs before you can relax, bask in its warmth and gaze into it, feeling closer to nature. A good structure is essential to building a good fire.

Many things can go wrong, though. You may not have enough kindling or the wood may be wet. You may have become impatient and tried to hurry the process. Sometimes, the kindling gets smothered by heavy logs thrown in before it can burn well enough to help transform the logs into a roaring fire. Learning the technique is not enough. Applying it with patience and perseverance is key.

What if all you have is a little kindling and damp wood? What if wet logs have nearly extinguished your fire? How do you rekindle it again? Search among the smoke and half-burnt logs. See that little spark? Feed that spark carefully with determination. You can build your fire gain from the tiniest spark choked and buried beneath those logs.

Too often, our spark smolders under heavy logs thrown in by others who claim to know what our potential is and even deign to assess us within the limited framework of who they think we are. Implicit confidence in the ability of authority figures to help us realize our potential, rather than believing in our ability to do so, is damaging. Complete belief in others’ opinions of us, good or bad, gradually erases our sense of self- identity. We limit ourselves to who they say we are instead of nurturing our curiosity and determining who we can become. Bad leaders are like water on fire, extinguishing our spark.

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sadly, examples of bad leadership abound, including a very public display that unfolded in the USA last week. The downfall of these leaders is dramatic and public. Another type of insidious leader lurks just out of sight. These small leaders remain silent even in the face of blatant untruths or injustice – for their own benefit. In this context, silence means tacit consent. There are enablers galore, all vying for a place close to power and encouraging this silence because it benefits them – just like their leader. Like the story of the blind men and the elephant, enablers interpret and operate parts of it based on what benefits them the most. Bombastic jargon and self-righteous anger thrive. In these unhappy places, the road to hell is paved with political correctness. Followers plod along, their spark crushed long ago by the heavy logs of an insecure leadership. They are insignificant cogs in a dated machine groaning along – a machine no one quite understands.

“To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men.” – Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Good leaders, an increasing rarity, encourage your spark. They do this by sharing knowledge and encouraging your independence rather than thriving on increasing your dependence on them. They are genuinely interested in the welfare of their teams, above personal benefit. They make time to listen. They encourage you to explore and discover what holds meaning for you. They don’t pretend to know everything. They are not afraid to admit mistakes and command your respect. More power to you if you have been lucky enough to discover a genuine leader. However, finding your spark and empowering yourself lies in your hands alone. Only you can undertake that journey.

“There is no paycheck that can equal the feeling of contentment that comes from being the person you are meant to be.” – Oprah Winfrey

How do you find your spark instead of eternally hanging around waiting for someone, anyone, to discover it and living a life of regret when that doesn’t happen? Begin by acknowledging that you, too, have a wonderful spark and fire worthy of kindling; that you too can soar and fly; that you too have great potential; that you are worth it. Nurture that spark once you discover it. Your voice can make a difference too. Use it! Speak out against injustice and untruth. A single spark can become a forest fire. Maybe you are that first spark.

Don’t erode your sense of identity by allowing anyone to tell you who you are or resigning yourself to a stale environment of enablers who call themselves leaders. Keep pushing yourself towards new experiences and learning, towards better leaders. Follow good men and women who are driven by integrity and not by selfish motives. The world needs them. Your spark, fed with patience and determination by your truth, values, and purpose, will burn high and bright, like well-seasoned wood. Revel in its warmth.