Life is so unfair and full of problems, isn’t it?
Everyone has problems but it is easy to feel or believe that others are living perfect lives. It is just your life that sucks. So you complain. Bitterly. Surely, you deserve a better deal? Why is life so unfair to you alone? You sink deep into self-pity. It even feels good for a while, complaining and venting. Eventually, it buries you deep in a rut, unable to move out and forward. There’s no one to listen to your complaints either. And if life seems unfair, it could be because you insisted on burying yourself deeper and deeper into that rut in the first place instead of taking steps to get out of it.
So how do you move out of this rut where you seem to blame others or life in general for your predicament? How can you handle your problems better? Perhaps by recognizing that no one leads a perfect life. Everyone has problems. And also by looking at them as experiences and putting them in perspective.
“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” – Albert Einstein
Problems can be handled well if you are solutions-oriented. Take it moment by moment. Are you alright in this moment? Then handle the next moment. When you keep at it, you naturally start putting things in perspective. You also begin to consider solutions. Is there a way through and beyond? Dare to think in radically different ways rather than the tired old ways you’ve been conditioned to think in your current environment. You will soon recognize that there are more open doors than you thought there were to help you move ahead. Exit using the one that serves you best. Keep walking and looking ahead. The sun will shine very soon and the ‘problem’ will dissipate like smoke behind you.
Remember, though, that there are no perfect solutions. Thoroughly think through your proposed solution, understand the trade-offs and then make your move. It helps to be prepared. Once you take that first step, the rest is easy. The biggest problem happens when you refuse to take that first step, fearful of the unfamiliar and choosing to stay right where you are, complaining constantly.
The next time you are tempted to complain or think that life is unfair, put your problems in context. Are they so bad that there seems no way out? Not at all. You will then recognize that every problem is a blessing in disguise, carrying within it the seed to a better and more fulfilled life. This too shall pass.
“Narrow your life down to this moment. Your life situation may be full of problems – most life situations are – but find out if you have a problem at this moment. Do you have a problem now?” – Eckhart Tolle
