Do this when you don’t know what you want from life.
A few fortunate mortals know what they want early in life. Others may find their calling in early or late adulthood. Others flounder, grabbing any lifeline thrown to them. They swim through life as well as they can but find it hard to discover what they want from life. And so they ‘settle’, living their lives based on others’ narrow expectations of them. They have a vague notion that there might be more to life than this but don’t know how to get there.
There is an easy way to find out what you want even if you have failed to discover it until now. Instead of wasting your time wondering what you want, focus on what you don’t want. You will probably come up with a long list because everyone has many unwanted things crowding their lives. To ensure the success of this method, start with something small, say, your closet. Make a list of the clothes and accessories you no longer use or want and give them away. This success will spur you on to eliminate more – and bigger – unwanted elements from your life.
“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.” – Hans Hofmann
Keep moving, even if you make slow progress. A surprising thing happens as you continue to push yourself forward. You will start exploring trouble spots in key areas in your life even as your physical clutter diminishes. Maybe you’ve been wanting to lose some weight for a long time. You now recognize that it is in your hands to get healthier and stop finding excuses. You do the research, see what works best for your needs, and commit to a regular fitness program. If you slip, you simply get up and continue the next day because you know that it takes time to see results.
“Every vice has its excuse ready.” – Publilius Syrus
Like many, you may want to become financially independent. Applying the same process will get you there. Long-term financial plans required long-term lifestyle changes too. Tradeoffs are an essential part of eliminating the unnecessary from your life and retaining only what serves you well. Every change you make will help you discover and trim yet another superfluous variable in your life. Once you decide to become financially independent, thoughtless spending will decrease. You will look for ways to utilize your time in better ways instead of spending it on retail therapy. Like reading more or learning something that interests you rather than spending your time on mindless consumption.
Once the physical clutter is gone, you will naturally focus on bigger issues that prevent you from living the life you want. It could be a relationship that has run its course or toxic relationships that wear you down. Or a habit that is detrimental to your health. It could be that you want to step out and experience more of the world but have barricaded yourself in a comfort zone for years. Everything outside looks unfamiliar. Comfort zones make you risk-averse and fearful of everything outside your tiny little world. Instead of justifying it or blaming external sources, you accept this fact and work on facing your fears rather than avoiding change or catastrophizing. The only option, you recognize, is to move forward or remain stagnant all your life.
“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” – Neale Donald Walsch
Eliminating dysfunctional life aspects makes you aware of your most precious and limited life resource: time. You learn to spend it on areas that add genuine value to your life. Whatever remains is now a part of your life because you made a conscious choice to retain them. The bonus is that you now have space to include more of what you want in your life. You focus on inner growth and being true to yourself instead of ceding your time to mindless activities. Getting what you want out of life becomes easier when everything in your life works to serve you well. Enjoy.
“We all have different desires and needs, but if we don’t discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.” – Bill Watterson
