Small Questions

Why we ask ourselves small questions.

We kept asking questions as children, wonderstruck at many things. Why does a flower bloom when it does? Why does a bee fly the way it does? Why does a tiger have stripes? Why does he have so many freckles? Why does that tree have weird-shaped leaves? As young adults, we still had curiosity working in our favor. We kept observing and turning things over in our mind. Why should this be the way it is? Can it be changed? Can I be part of the change? We walked hand in hand with hope and wonder. We kept learning.

We changed – and continue to change – with the relentless conditioning that bombards us from every direction. We are groomed to talk, behave, and think in ways that have little to do with how we can learn to live our best lives. We go along with systems that dictate how we must live rather than allowing ourselves the space to nurture the needs that profit our well-being. We start asking ourselves the small, disempowering questions aimed at making others feel better, never ourselves: What should I do to please ……? What should I do to make ……. think I’m better, more productive, etc.? What will ‘others’ think of me if I……? What should I do to make myself look good to ……?

“The reflection of the current social paradigm tells us we are largely determined by conditioning and conditions.” – Stephen R. Covey

And finally, when we can do nothing to change others or their way of thinking, we ask ourselves – Why is life so unfair? Why doesn’t it go the way I want it to? – without considering that we make a daily decision to take the path we do and think the way we do.

As we grow older, we think that maybe this is it. Maybe life is supposed to be heavy. Maybe we are supposed to feel light and carefree only as kids, not as responsible adults. And so life becomes a serious slog that ends when we are too old to follow our joy anyway, still wondering why it didn’t work the way we wanted it to. And yet… Yet, a small voice keeps saying: This is not it. Life need not unfold this way if you ask yourself the big, empowering questions you need to ask yourself. The questions that matter.

“It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.” –Sir Edmund Hillary

Empowering questions focus on what you can control and how you can act to create your best life. How can I do more of what I love and get my needs met? How can I add value to the world doing what I love? How can I free myself from environments where I am expected to fulfill the needs of others while ignoring my own? Am I among people I can learn more from?

“If you don’ have a plan, you become part of somebody else’s plan.” – Terence McKenna

Empowering questions focus on how you can act to take control of your life. Disempowering questions are based on how you expect others to act so things can go our way. Empowering questions offer you the power of choice and possibilities – that there are many ways to fulfill your potential. Disempowering questions are tunnel-visioned – they make you believe that there is only one path to follow all your life. Usually, most people take this path. Why is that? Fear.

Fear of something – anything – is the biggest reason why most plod along as they do, even if they are deeply unhappy. Fear lives in all of us. It makes us ask only the small questions, without asking the deep, meaningful questions that result in a well-lived life. The most empowering question you can ask yourself is: What is it that I fear most? Do I spend time doing mindless tasks that create no long-term impact because I am afraid to step out of my comfort zone? Why am I choosing to live this way if I am not fulfilled? These questions will reveal that you (or anyone else) are not indispensable in any space. Instead of attempting to force a stagnant environment to meet your needs, pack your bags and start moving towards more innovative, refreshing environments to live a fuller life. When you are proud and sure of the choices you make, you don’t allow anyone else to disrupt them.

He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

The answers reveal themselves very soon if you listen carefully. You can then ask yourself the best question of all: Is my life bringing joy to others too? When you start working towards the answer, boredom, stress, and inertia get booted out of your life. Life starts smiling at you. You realize that there is far more to life than being hypnotized by a particular way of living just because many are living that way. You can only bring joy to others when you snap out of it and live your own life joyfully. That happens only by living a life filled with curiosity and wonder. Just like you did when you started out on this journey as a child.