How do you add value to others and the world?
Many spend insane amounts of time thinking about how they can add more value by improving their productivity, personality, knowledge, and so on. Since their goals are usually based on what others believe they need, they continue to craving something more without quite knowing what it is. Most take the easy way out by focusing on external symbols that they believe reflect ‘happiness’ rather than consider what the craving is actually about.
Since their entire foundation is built on what others think they need rather than on their own awareness, they are unaware that the craving is a deep need to understand their worth and nourish their needs. Their concept of adding value is fragile.
Those who add value to the world did not get there by listening to what others believed they needed or should be. They questioned themselves, understood their needs, and focused on adding value based on their needs. If you need to give something valuable to others, you must first know your worth. You need to learn to add value to yourself without warping your inner self to become subservient to others’ beliefs of who you should be. Others can be sounding boards, but what you act upon needs to be based on what is best for you and your needs.
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” Tich Nhat Hanh
In life, we meet many who are genuinely supportive. They add to our awareness and understanding because they have high levels of self-awareness. We meet others too, temporary companions in our journey. They make a lot of noise, but nothing of value is shared. Their needs are not born of self-awareness. Rather, they have been conditioned to believe that certain ‘needs’ are what they need to live a ‘good life’. They believe that these needs are yours as well since their self-awareness is low. They hardly take time to know others or step out of their comfort zones. Instead, they try to change others to suit their notions. What matters to them might not even matter to you. Instead of trying to squeeze into a shape they ascertain for you and feeling crushed, break out. You have a big place in this world that cannot be contained in a tiny space. Spread your arms wide, breathe, look within, and learn your own worth.
We constantly silence our inner voices to serve people who insist that they know what we need. We allow our inner voices to drown in the noise created by others who are with us or worse, by passing acquaintances who offer nothing of value. To a certain extent, conditioning teaches us the basic rules help us survive like our ancestors did – by avoiding dangerous situations and protecting ourselves from physical danger. Beyond that, it is like a straitjacket which lays out the same rules for every human, oblivious to the fact that each of us have unique needs. The ones with the loudest voices amplify these rules because it serves their needs, never yours. If you don’t fit in with their needs, they diminish you. Is it any surprise that so many feel devalued, surrounded by allthis noise?
Listen to your own voice, your own soul. Too many people listen to the noise of the world, instead of themselves. – Leon Brown
How do you learn to add value to yourself? Question everything that claims to be the only way to a perfect life. Since life is a unique experience to every individual, move away from the constant cacophony of continuing conditioning by becoming conscious of it. Move forward with awareness. Only then can you open yourself up to unique experiences that nourish your needs. Moving away is hard for many because they are so accustomed to ignoring their inner voices and blindly following others. Life unfolds in different ways for different people and you need to find the path that best fulfills your unique needs. Expecting others to show you your path will damage that experience.
“Make sure you don’t start seeing yourself through the eyes of those who don’t value you.” Anonymous
Listen carefully to your own voice and follow it. It might be a tiny but tenacious whisper, even if you are bombarded by constant noise from the outside. Once you put your trust in it and take the first step, the noise subsides. Those following the noise go their way. Your voice speaks up in the silence and the mist clears, showing you the way. It is not a perfect path and it never will be, but it is your path. This is the way that reveals the experiences meant to bring out the best in you.
You then understand that the only voice you need to listen to is the one deep inside you. Following it means you face yourself every day and remain truthful to yourself. It also means that you follow what I call the ‘rule of elimination’ – the more you eliminate, the more meaningful life gets. This could mean anything from meaningless activities you spend large chunks of your life on, toxic relationships, bad habits or eliminating unnecessary clutter in your physical space. The only infinite space where you are indispensable is within you. All other spaces you inhabit are temporary and if they are not enjoyable, it is in your hands to get rid of them.
“You find your worth within yourself.” Anonymous
Working on yourself is hard but when you do it with joy and tenacity, you understand your needs and work on fulfilling them. When obstacles show up, you understand that no path is smooth and handle it calmly. The path offers what you want. In fact, it offers abundance but even as you take more, you realize that perhaps taking is not what life is all about.
A miracle then unfolds – even as you feel more fulfilled, you start giving more without expecting anything in return. It happens on its own, without much effort on your part. Abundance abounds in your life even as you give what you can. You can only add value to others and the world at large by listening to yourself. Only then can you give others far more than they imagined you would without expecting anything in return.
The key to a great life lies in shifting your focus from accumulation to contribution. The old saying “He who gathers the most toys wins” needs to be replaced with “He who serves the most prospers”. Remember, happiness is the by-product of a life spent adding value to other people’s lives. – Robin Sharma
