Given a choice, would you drag a heavy ball and chain behind you all day, every day? Of course not. It would slow you down, make you uncomfortable and impede your progress. Yet, we don’t think twice about dragging the heavy weight of our past into the future. It is made up of all the memories and thoughts that weigh us down.

Would we visit a place that is full of trash and smells bad? We’d avoid it because it doesn’t make us feel good. What happens if this is where we live? We’d try to clean it as much as possible. Somehow, this doesn’t apply to our negative thoughts and memories. They add add no value to our lives and need to be discarded forever but we keep revisiting them. Positive thoughts and memories that make us feel lighter take a backseat. We’re physically in the present but our minds are in the past or future—and not in a good way.

As we limp along, we wonder why we feel weary, frequently blaming ‘life’ for treating us the way it does. Can we rid ourselves of this weight we carry? How do we align our body and mind to be more in sync and in the moment? Eckhart Tolle, a spiritual teacher, puts this in perspective: “The only thing that is ultimately real about your journey is the step you are taking at this moment. That’s all there ever is.”  

Everyone makes mistakes. Self-rebuke will weaken you tremendously – physically and mentally. Life is never going to happen the way you want it to. It takes its course. Not everyone you meet or interact with is going to like you and vice versa. If you take life too seriously, you’re going to be slammed to the ground instead of enjoying the journey. 

Practice self-compassion. Do you hear that annoying voice in your head that rebukes you every time you make a mistake? It goes on and on. It reminds you of all the ifs. ‘If you had done this better’ or ‘if you had done that…’ Living in the ‘Land of Ifs’ leads nowhere and makes you miserable.

Pay attention to that voice. Treat it like a friend who needs serious professional intervention. Take time to listen to it. Observe it carefully. You can give it a shape if you want to. Mine is ‘drakul’—he’s a Count who sucks human blood, in case you didn’t know. Nowadays, he is mostly silent, but I’m ever-vigilant.

The more you observe that voice, the easier it becomes to anticipate its sneaky ways. You can then gently replace a negative rebuke with something positive—anything that makes you feel better. And keep doing it. It will always hang around the threshold of your mind like an unwelcome guest. Make sure it remains there.

Learn to read and treat your body better. What do you do when your car runs low on gas? Fill it with more gas, of course. You service it regularly and take care of it.  Do you do the same for that most sophisticated of machines, your body? Is it running on the right fuel? 

“Let food be thy medicine, and let medicine be thy food,” is one of my favorite quotes. Do you eat what your body needs or what you want? Eating better will make you feel better. This is the only body we have. Spare parts that look and function exactly like your body haven’t been invented yet. Treat it well.

Reduce the noise in your life. Taking regular breaks from social media and the smartphone can work wonders. Is that new post or email more important than a short break away from screens? Cutting down on TV and binge-watching will make a world of difference too. Try stepping out of your workplace or house for a short walk instead. Without your smartphone.

Sleep. There are plenty of tips out there on how to sleep better but the most important thing you can do to sleep better is switch off your smart phone or leave it in another room before you get into bed. Using your smart phone as an alarm clock? Get an inexpensive alarm clock instead. The light emitted by smart phones suppresses melatonin, a hormone that helps us sleep better.

This is not easy. You’ll feel great pain—like a limb has been amputated. If you stick to it like an adult, you’ll be rewarded with restful sleep and feel more hopeful on Monday mornings. Without quality sleep, you are going to be less productive and more cranky. Once you get the hang of it, you’ll realize that your smart phone is just a tool, not an extension of who you are. 

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” – Buddha.